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You’re not hallucinating. That is a BVB toaster.

FTW (wo)Man about Town: The Sound Toaster

What is a sound toaster...only the most highly coveted piece of BVB fan merch.

I first became a fan of BVB in 2014 and over the years I’ve been fortunate enough to connect with the most amazing fanbase in all of sports (I’m looking at you my ft fam!), meet many of the players, somehow convince the-powers-that-be at FTW to let me tagalong, and now attend BVB matches in Germany. Yet still, with all of those blessings, something was missing. Something that would make me think “okay, now I can really call myself a fan of Borussia Dortmund.” I know what you’re thinking, “Sarah, you need to experience BVB winning the league (or the UCL if that matters to you)!” But you’d be wrong! For me, I wouldn’t be able to call myself a true fan of Borussia Dortmund until I procured the sound toaster.

Yes, that’s right. The sound toaster. This kitschy piece of fan merch comes in the classic black and yellow colors to brighten up your kitchen while branding the BVB logo onto your toast. But it doesn’t stop there! When your toast is done, the bread pops up as the “Borussia” anthem sounds!

Once I discovered the existence of this toaster (my earliest tweet seems to be in 2017) I was a fan obsessed. When my plans to visit Dortmund solidified, I was very vocal about bringing a toaster home, incompatible outlets be damned. People thought I was kidding, but little did they realize I’d never been more serious about anything in my life.

There it the flesh (or plastic and stainless steel as it were)!
Sarah M. Sekac

When I came upon the display in the shop, I literally said out loud “Ok! Which of you will be coming home to America with me?” I couldn’t quite believe my eyes as I thought for sure the toaster would be out of stock or discontinued. But, there were plenty! This was my final selection before checking out; at last, the toaster was mine!

Best 49.95 spent, ever.
Sarah M. Sekac

Now, this toaster is no small thing, but figuring out how to get it home was a problem for future Sarah to deal with. For now, I’m basking in the glory of finally freaking having this sound toaster in my possession! I lugged it back to my flat and was ready to take it for a test drive!

Sound Toaster Unpacked: toaster, bun attachment and instructions which need to be passed on if you ever give the toaster away.
Sarah M. Sekac

The operation of the toaster is very intuitive and reminiscent of any standard toaster. A key difference here is the option to turn off the sound effect. What kind of psycho would ever do that?!

Only a Schalke fan would want to turn the music off, but what would they be doing with a BVB toaster anyway is what I’d like to know!
Sarah M. Sekac

Before toasting the bread for the first time, you must cycle the toaster through 12 toasts (at least that’s what Google Translate told me). This meant I was treated to the Borussia anthem each time and it was the sound of angels!

Now that prepping the toaster to toast was complete, it was time for the real thing. Fortunately, I just so happened to have two slices of wheat bread which (again, according to Google Translate) is the best kind of bread to toast for optimal branding. I dropped the slices in and let it do its thing...until, pop and the anthem sounded!

Look! Look at it! Have you ever seen a more beautiful sight than this BVB-branded toast?!

Worth its weight in gold and tastes even better.
Sarah M. Sekac

Now, I had to taste the toast, of course as I’m sure it would taste better than common toast, and boy how does it ever. It was simply the most delicious toast I’ve ever eaten.

Well, there you have it! I can now call myself a true Borussia Dortmund fan. Sure, the toaster will likely end up being a glorified dust collector, but it was worth the wait and the money and the logistics of getting it home (good luck future Sarah!).

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