Another week of football and we still appear to be no closer to finally concluding this whole charade once and for all. Who will finally win the football? It’s hard to say, but I can’t wait until we settle it for good.
Since we persist with this infantile nonsense, why not enjoy a little bit of 2023 vintage Borussia Monchengladbach, who appear to be clinically insane.
So far this year Gladbach games are averaging a total of ~3.6 goals, and each week it is anyone’s guess who will come out on top of their regular festival of goals (although more often than not it is the opponent). Their 4-0 loss to Mainz was the second time they’ve conceded four goals in the Rückrunde, having also lost 4-1 to Hertha Berlin a couple weeks ago. Not only were these two losses sandwiched between a 3-2 victory over Bayern Munich, they also scored four of their own at the end of January. Gladbach are allergic to consistency.
Anyway, here’s how Matchday 22 shaped up in the Bundesliga:
Mainz 4-0 Borussia Monchengladbach
Hertha Berlin 2-0 Augsburg
RB Leipzig 2-1 Frankfurt
Hoffenheim 0-1 Borussia Dortmund
Werder Bremen 3-0 VfL Bochum
Schalke 2-1 VfB Stuttgart
Freiburg 1-1 Bayer Leverkusen
Bayern Munich 3-0 Union Berlin
Five Teams Battle it Out to Survive in the Bundesliga
With signs of an actual real-life title race developing at the top of the Bundesliga table, Borussia Dortmund fans can be forgiven for not paying a ton of attention to what is going on at the bottom of the table right now. But a pretty interesting dogfight seems to be brewing. At the moment, it looks like the two relegation spots plus the entry into the promotion/relegation playoffs will go to three of the following five teams: Schalke, VfL Bochum, Hoffenheim, Stuttgart, and Hertha Berlin. Not long ago it looked like Schalke were doomed to claim one of those one-way tickets to the 2. Bundesliga, but after a series of 0-0 draws, they managed to claim a win over fellow relegation candidates Stuttgart.
Schalke are still sat bottom of the Bundesliga, but they are only three points off safety, and their form has been much better than everyone else around them. Maybe, just maybe, they might have a chance of staying up?
As to everyone else, Bochum and Hertha Berlin have both been genuinely atrocious, and it would be hard for anyone to make an argument that they don’t deserve the drop, but what about Hoffenheim? How on earth are they in a relegation scrap right now? Well, for a start, they haven’t won a league game since October, and in 2023 they have managed to avoid defeat just once. Both on paper and according to their underlying numbers, at least, Hoffenheim should be fine. They should have enough quality to avoid the drop. But they also wouldn’t be the first team to suffer a short-term run of underperformance and find themselves facing pretty serious consequences as a result!
Who do you think will end up taking up the two relegation spots and the playoff spot? Will Schalke pull off a minor miracle and survive for another season?