Match Ratings: Der Klassiker Sucks

Few scorelines in world football are more predictable than Bayern Munich pummeling Borussia Dortmund. It didn’t matter that BVB were unbeaten in the league. It didn't matter that Bayern just lost to a struggling third-division team. Nothing matters when Dortmund face Bayern, because Bayern always win.

And our ratings for this hapless performance:

Starting XI

Gregor Kobel

Joey: 5

What could Greg have done about any of those goals. His heroics actually flattered the scoreline for BVB.

Paul: 6

Kobel wasn’t at fault for any of the four goals he shipped, and if it wasn’t for his efforts, it could have got worse.

Marius Wolf

Joey: 4

Wolf didn't stand a chance against Leroy Sané, who ran circles around him. Wolf only completed 55% of his pass attempts. #CagedWolf

Paul: 2

He improved a little as time passed in the first half, but the damage was already done. He was completely out of his depth, and was rightly yanked at half time.

Mats Hummels

Joey: 5

Mats can pass, but his legs were too slow for Harry Kane and company.

Paul: 5

Nico Schlotterbeck

Joey: 3

I think this was Nico’s worst performance in Black and Yellow. His failure to mark Upamecano resulted in the first goal, and his erratic defending didn't do BVB any favors. He lost most ground duals and struggled throughout the game.

Paul: 3

Julian Ryerson

Joey: 5

Paul: 5

Marcel Sabitzer

Joey: 4

The match against Hoffenheim was one of Sab’s best matches. This was among his worst.

Paul: 4

Salih Özcan

Joey: 3

Salih was a step behind every play, and digressed in his intensity compared to recent appearances. He couldn't hold the midfield whatsoever.

Paul: 3

Marco Reus

Joey: 6

Marco was the only player who looked remotely dangerous in attack. He was pressing heavily for ninety minutes and registered Dortmund’s only shot on target.

Paul: 6

Julian Brandt

Joey: 4

Paul: 5

Brandt looked off the pace, which should come as no surprise given the warning signs that he needed a rest.

Donyell Malen

Joey: 5

Paul: 5

Niclas Füllkrug

Joey: 2

Dreadful. Completed nine of twenty passes and didn't register a single shot.

Paul: 3

Substitutes

Niklas Süle

Joey: 4

Süle brought some much needed defensive support to the back line... but it didn't matter since we still conceded two more goals.

Paul: 4

Felix Nmecha

Joey: 4

Failed to make an impact.

Paul: 5

Karim Adeyemi

Joey: 5

Karim was at least trying to make something happen.

Paul: 5

Youssoufa Moukoko

N/A

Sébastien Haller

N/A

Overall

Joey: 1

This is the lowest collective rating I’ve ever given the team. Here’s why: From ninety minutes of football, I’m unable to find a single positive takeaway. And I’m supposed to be the optimist! The match began horrendously, and BVB never looked like they were going to come back. Bayern looked leagues better than Dortmund today. To be defeated so decisively at home is embarrassing. But I can’t say I’m surprised. To be a Dortmund fan is to accept losing to Bayern every year. I hope we can bounce back and make a statement against Newcastle midweek. The fans deserve it.

Paul: 2

I wasn’t nearly as optimistic as others ahead of this game. I did think that the injuries and suspensions gave Dortmund a bit of a shot, but I was still of the view that the most likely outcome was a Bayern Munich victory. However, I was at least hopeful that BVB would put up a bit of a fight, and show that they are not that far off Bayern. Even my low expectations were too much for this team to handle. Unfortunately, this was about as bad as it gets, but I don’t think anyone is really that surprised, which is a terrible indictment of this Dortmund side.

I haven’t given them the lowest possible score, because they did at least look to be gradually getting themselves into the game in the second half, but even then, Bayern never looked in any real jeopardy. I’ve seen some fans arguing that this wasn’t a particularly good Bayern performance, but I thought they managed the game really well. It was a terrible performance by BVB, and Bayern did a good job of capitalizing on Dortmund’s failures.

The optimism among Dortmund fans, caused by the string of solid performances, has well and truly dried up. They’re going to have to show a lot more in the coming weeks to get the fans back on side.