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Looking Around the League: Harry Kane is Quite Good at Football

Kane scored a hattrick as Bayern put eight on newly-promoted Darmstadt. Not great, Clive.

FC Bayern München v SV Darmstadt 98 - Bundesliga Photo by Sebastian Widmann/Getty Images

The Bundesliga is now a quarter of the way through the season, and to celebrate this marker, the league came together to deliver a whole lot of goals and a whole lot of nonsense (BVB made their own healthy contribution to both). While a Guirassy-less Stuttgart were unable to keep up their winning run, losing 3-2 to Hoffenheim, Bayer Leverkusen continued their incredible start to the season, thanks to an impressive performance by Florian Wirtz.

Elsewhere, RB Leipzig knocked FC Köln for six, and yet were not the biggest winners of the weekend.

Here are the results from matchday nine:


VfL Bochum 2-2 Mainz

Augsburg 3-2 Wolfsburg

Bayern Munich 8-0 SV Darmstadt

Borussia Mönchengladbach 2-1 FC Heidenheim

VfB Stuttgart 2-3 Hoffenheim

Werder Bremen 2-0 Union Berlin

RB Leipzig 6-0 FC Köln

Eintracht Frankfurt 3-3 Borussia Dortmund

Leverkusen 2-1 Freiburg

League Table

Darmstadt Go One Short of a Southampton

As a newly promoted Darmstadt side heading to the Allianz to face Bayern Munich, I don’t suppose you have particularly high hopes that you’re going to come away with much from the game. Of course, I imagine they were probably hoping they wouldn’t get smacked 8-0 with Harry Kane scoring one from inside his own half...

Three red cards, three Harry Kane goals (one of which was from one million miles away), and a bunch of other stuff that Darmstadt probably wish didn’t happen. Just a shame they couldn’t concede a couple more so that everyone could talk about that time Darmstadt lost 10-0 instead of, y’know, that other thing.

It’s not all bad though. The good news is that Kimmich continues to be an idiot, and got himself suspended for Der Klassiker coming up at the weekend.

Your Thoughts?

How do you feel about Dortmund’s upcoming fixture against Bayern Munich, after this weekend’s results?