Report: Erling Haaland Agrees to Personal Terms with Manchester City

According to Mike Keegan at the Daily Mail, Borussia Dortmund’s star striker Erling Haaland has agreed to personal terms with Manchester City for a staggering wage bill of £500,000 per week, which would make him the single highest player in the Premier League.

Haaland will join a squad surrounded by world class players, coached by a world class manager, with more money than Scrooge McDuck. The team is poised to win the Premier League, and is one of the four remaining finalists for the Champions League. Adding Haaland to the mix will surely make them favorites to win the Premier League next season, and could make them one of the strongest Premier League teams in history.

Haaland has averaged more than a goal per minute in the Bundesliga and the Champions League. He’s also an absolute tank who can manhandle the heaviest center backs out there. I have no doubt he’s in a position to take the Premier League by storm.

Losing Haaland will be quite a blow to BVB, but they’ve already gotten more or less used to playing without him during his frequent injury-induced absences this season, and the club can use the money from his release clause to fund transfers for Nico Schlotterbeck, Karim Adeyemi, and potentially one or two others. They won’t be able to replace him like-for-like, but they can still fix some of the more pressing needs. This could easily be a net positive for the club.