Report: The Westfalenstadion’s Famous Yellow Wall to be Repainted Hot Pink

It’s time to get real, folks. Time for some hard truths. Things everyone thinks, but no one says. For too long, BVB fans have all been thinking the same thing, that for some reason everyone is also too afraid to say aloud. Frankly, I’ve had enough. It’s time to speak up.

Yellow isn’t a great color. I know that as BVB fans we all have to pretend to love black and yellow, but I think if you got almost any Dortmund fan into a room by his or herself, they would admit that yellow is such a blasé color. We all know the yellow wall is intimidating, but is it really as intimidating as we would like it to be? When’s the last time you were intimidated by anything yellow? When you ran from a bumblebee at the age of five? In its current state, the yellow wall resembles a giant school bus, and “Fear the Bus” frankly has a terrible ring to it. It’s no wonder the club’s home record isn’t what it used to be. We need something to reinvigorate the club.

The fine folks over at BVB have found a solution. They’ve gone to the Legally Blonde school of architecture and come up with the following design, which BVB has now officially announced. They’ve come up with the fiercest, most menacing new stadium design imaginable:

It’s unclear if this will also come with a logo and kit change, but if they do, I would be all for it.

Note: At press time, BVB also announced that the Westfalenstadion will be renamed the Baskin Robbins Arena to accompany the color change.