The Daily Bee: Steffen Tigges out for the Season, Because of Course he is

Good morning, FTW. Happy Friday!

BVB’s back line against Bielefeld to be named the “four muppets”

According to Ruhr Nachrichten, because of injuries/infections to Dan-Axel Zagadou, Mateu Morey, Manuel Akanji, Raphael Guerreiro, Thomas Meunier, and Mats Hummels, BVB could end up fielding a back line consisting of:

Nico Schulz - Marin Pongracic - Emre Can - Marius Wolf

If that doesn’t make a bit of acid shoot up your esophagus, I don’t know what will. There’s also the possibility that BVB would call up a U-23 player like Lennard Maloney and throw him on. To be honest, it couldn’t possibly be worse.

Steffen Tigges is out for the season, because why not

Having a striker is nice. For much of this season, BVB have had to play without Erling Haaland. Now, they will have to play out the rest of their matches without Steffen Tigges, Haaland’s as-tall-but-less-talented counterpart. Tigges fractured his ankle during training, doing what, I don’t know, probably tying his shoe (unconfirmed but working to verify), required surgery, and will now be out for the season.

Tigges may not be a starting-quality player, but he can be an effective supersub. He’s scored three goals in only 90 minutes this season, so his absence will hurt.

Meteor to hit Westfalenstadion

This hasn’t been reported anywhere in the news, but given the trend of injuries to wreck BVB this season, it honestly wouldn’t surprise me at this point.

The Daily Buzz

Can you come up with a better name than “The Four Muppets” for Schulz, Pongo, Can, and Wolf?