The Daily Bee: BVB Close to Signing Yusuf Demir - ESPN

Good morning, Fear the Wall! Happy Monday. I hope you all had a terrific weekend.

Listen here, readers. I know things are tough right now. Erling Haaland is injured. Allergy season is starting. Borussia Dortmund are out of the Europa League. Europe is at war. But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned will distract soccer fans and make them feel better, it’s a transfer rumor.

BVB Closing in on Yusuf Demir

Yusuf Demir is an 18-year-old Austrian National who plays for Rapid Wien in the Ö. Bundesliga. He had a brief stint on loan with Barcelona, of all clubs, but he didn’t really receive a lot of playing time, and after his loan was terminated, he returned to Austria about a month ago. He hasn’t played much this season, but he was a tremendous players last season, playing in 25 games and scoring six goals and three assists in only 827 minutes.

According to ESPN’s Moises Llorens, a correspondent in Barcelona, BVB are close to signing Demir from Rapid Wien.

Demir is a very promising player, and would be one of few natural wingers in Dortmund. He could be a really good signing.

Bonus Story: Hank the Tank beats the system

BVB are in such a miserable state right now. Russia and Ukraine are at war. There isn’t a lot positive going on right now, and I have nothing to write about, and frankly I’m feeling pretty miserable, so screw it, here’s a story about a Black Bear:

Hank the Tank, a rotund American Black Bear unjustly accused of breaking into a few dozen houses, and presumably one or two Golden Corrals, in Lake Tahoe, has been exonerated by DNA evidence. He will not be euthanized. He will not be falsely imprisoned. He will not be another innocent victim of the nanny state. God bless Hank, and God Bless America.

The Daily Buzz

When World War 3 breaks out, which Fallout game would you most want life to resemble?