Hey everyone! It’s me, a random stranger who tells you about nonsense in soccer despite not being qualified in any capacity! Unfortunately for all of us writers at Fear the Wall, Dortmund are playing like absolute garbage. That means no matter what we say, the comment section will become a battleground of everyone blaming each other for the teams goalscoring woes. So, in an effort to distract you from Adeyemi’s inability to kick a ball into a net and in the spirit of nihilism, here’s why everything else is awful.
The World Cup is Eleven Days Away and Everyone is Injured
World Cup season is upon us! More often than not, this means excitement is in the air, employees are begging their bosses for time off to watch the games, and national identity is being channeled into a bunch of 25-year-olds running around while chasing a ball.
This year, however, is a bit different. The World Cup is in the winter and club competitions are taking an unprecedented break in the middle of the season. Not only does this mean crammed schedules, a loss of midseason momentum, and a bunch of idiots claiming that the season doesn’t really count when their rivals inevitably win in 2023. It also means that everyone’s favorite players have opportunities to get injured prior to the World Cup and miss out on their dream of playing on the world’s biggest stage! The November to December schedule for the World Cup has increased physical intensity for players, who are playing 2-3 games a week as clubs make up for a loss of time, and gives them a short reprieve (7-10 days) between their last club game and first national team game. So far this year, French midfield duo Paul Pogba and N’golo Kante, German striker Timo Werner, Portuguese sensation Diogo Jota, Canadian star Alphonso Davies, and Sadio Mane, who is vital to the Senegalese team, are confirmed to be missing the tournament. In addition players like Reece James, Paul Dybala, Son Heung-min, and even our own Marco Reus might not heal from their respective injuries in time to join their teams in Qatar.
Obviously, there is a whole host of issues regarding this World Cup.,but the winter timeline looks like it’s going to cause some depleted squads once the tournament kicks off. But fear not everyone, I’ll be here, uninjured and providing you content for your enjoyment.
The Most Corrupt Man You Know Said Something Smart
In 2015, then-FIFA president Sepp Blatter and then-UEFA President Michel were both ousted from their roles due to corruption surrounding bribes in one of sport’s biggest scandals. Blatter, the centerpiece of this scandal, was fined over two million dollars and banned from football until 2028, when he will be 92 years old. Across a 17-year long career, he committed countless transgressions of FIFA’s already lenient ethical code and controversy surrounds his involvement in awarding the 2018 World Cup to Russia. This week, however, Blatter came out and said that the decision to award the 2022 World Cup was a mistake and FIFA has come a long way to now take in account social considers and human rights. In fact Blatter even admitted that “it was a bad choice and I was responsible for that as president of the time”! I can definitely agree with that, Sepp.
Now, Blatter’s inability to not be a ridiculous muppet quickly became apparent as he went on to blame Platini for the Qatar World Cup and stated the real problem with the tournament was that Qatar was too small, rather than the logistical problems of a winter tournament or, more importantly, human rights abuses.
LAFC Won MLS Cup
Wait, what? Good news (For me)? Oh soccer gods, you shouldn’t have!
That’s right everyone, your favorite writer’s joint favorite team won something shiny and he wrote a whole entire Daily Bee article on the problems of soccer to put his Major League Soccer Team on a pedestal. That’s a joke, of course, but I figured something lighthearted to conclude the article was necessary.
Regardless of motives to write this article, Los Angeles Football Club played the Philadelphia Union in perhaps the greatest soccer game I have ever witnessed to win MLS Cup in front of their home fans, including me! The game was filled with everything you want in a soccer match: Six goals, a red card, a fanatical fan section, two of the latest goals in MLS history including a 128 minute header by Gareth Bale to send it to extra time, and a penalty shootout featuring the match MVP, LAFC’s backup goalkeeper who came on in the 120th minute, making 2 saves!
I’ll take this moment once again to plug local soccer for all those here at Fear The Wall. Five years ago, when LAFC came into existence, I was pretty stubborn that only mainstream European soccer was worth watching because of the quality of play. I’ve since learned that soccer, regardless of level, can be fantastic entertainment if you allow yourself to enjoy it. So, go watch some soccer.
On that note, back to being miserable!
- I’m sure most of us saw this but Dortmund’s defeat yesterday was the first time the team lost to Wolfsburg since May of 2015 (CBS Sports)
- Transfermarkt updated squad values and most Dortmund players got a pretty substantial increase! It means absolutely nothing but I, for one, am entertained by seeing imaginary numbers go up. (Transfermarkt)
- Everyone, I think our very own Paul Johnson has officially lost it. His article, “Dortmund Trip, Stumble, and Fall Head First Into the Week” proves he is certifiably crazed. That being said, its an immensely entertaining article that you should all check out.
The Daily Bee:
Why are you miserable today?