The Daily Bee (April 15th, 2021): BVB Forfeit Champions League to Focus on More Important DFB Pokal

Good Morning Fear The Wall!

Oh you were watching the Champions League last night? That dead cup? I didn’t know it was still a thing. I only pay attention to the DFB Pokal. It’s far more authentic. You’d know that if you were a proper fan.

With that said, I’m hearing that Borussia Dortmund were ejected from the Champions League by the owner of the worst team nickname in history, The Cityzens. BVB gave it their best shot, but they decided to pack their bags and focus on winning the much more illustrious DFB Pokal instead. They still left their mark on the competition, however, despite fielding the youth team. Jude Bellingham was arguably the best player on the pitch, and set the record for the youngest English player to score in the Champions League. His performance has not gone unnoticed.

Photo by INA FASSBENDER/AFP via Getty Images

Even though the Champions League was very low on their list of priorities, Borussia Dortmund were the final Bundesliga team in the tournament, after Bayern Munich embarrassed German football by being shellacked by PSG. Hopefully they will pull their weight a little more next season, instead of leaving it all to BVB.

Anyway, the semifinal of this amateur nonsense is all set. Real Madrid will face Chelsea, while Manchester City will face PSG. It’ll be hard to choose which of these plucky underdogs to support in the final stages of the “Champions” League. They’re all so likeable!

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Who do you want to win the Champions League now? And who do you think will win it?