Man of the Match Poll: BVB Cruise to 5-0 Victory Against Besiktas

Borussia Dortmund finished a disappointing Champions League campaign on a high note, giving Besiktas an absolute shellacking. BVB barely broke a sweat in the process of beating Besiktas 5-0, with Donyell Malen opening the scoring, followed by braces from both Marco Reus and Erling Haaland. It hasn’t been the best couple weeks for Dortmund, so it was nice to get a win, even if it was ultimately meaningless.

Despite BVB’s dominance and a handful of goals, it really wasn’t a thrilling game to watch. Besiktas were up against it throughout the first half, and didn’t look like they were going to land many punches on Dortmund, but once Welinton received a very harsh red card, Besiktas were doomed. That plus the fact there was absolutely nothing riding on this game made it a bit of a non-event.

Really, the Man of the Match should be the commentator, who clearly couldn’t care less about this game, and let it be known by roasting absolutely anyone that gave him the opportunity. Besiktas took a hammering from him over the course of the 90 minutes (Dortmund didn’t exactly come out of it unscathed either), but he also found the time to laugh at Donyell Malen, the referee, Michail Antonio, and even Jack Wilshere! I thoroughly enjoyed his dry digs at everyone and anyone, and there’s nothing funnier than someone that is bored and doesn’t care who knows it.

But since I care too much about maintaining a consistent format, I can’t nominate this guy, so here’s four others for you to (incorrectly) vote for as tonight’s Man of the Match:

Erling Haaland

Haaland was only on the pitch for about half an hour, but that was more than enough time for him to get two goals, and come very close to getting his hattrick on a couple occasions. The game was over by the time he came on, but it was still an impressive effort by the Norwegian.

Mahmoud Dahoud

Mo was pulling the strings all night long. He picked up two assists and he won the penalty for Reus’s goal. An in-form Mo is a joy to watch.

Marco Reus

It was a banging goal okay?

Nico Schulz

Credit where credit is due: Nico Schulz was banging tonight. He even picked up an assist. And the commentator said we all owe him an apology, and everything that guy says is gospel now, so I expect to see all your apologies in the comments.