The Daily Bee: Several BVB Players Miraculously not Injured (yet)

Good morning, Fear the Wall. Happy Friday.

Listen, folks. I get it. Injuries happen to every club. Every fan base always thinks that their team is particularly injury-riddled. I really don’t want to fall into this trap. But this... this is just ridiculous.

As far as I can tell, the following BVB players are all injured:

• Youssoufa Moukoko
• Thorgan Hazard
• Erling Haaland
• Gio Reyna
• Raphael Guerreiro
• Thomas Meunier
• Gregor Kobel
• Mahmoud Dahoud
• Dan-Axel Zagadou and Soumaila Coulibaly

Look at that! That’s only player one away from a full f—king starting XI! And the international break isn’t over, so there’s still plenty of time for somebody like Manuel Akanji or Marco Reus to hurt themselves by falling face-first into a wood-chipper that found its way onto the pitch or something like that.

USA Beats Jamaica

In other news, Ricardo Pepi continued his meteoric rise with the USMNT:

And Italy’s historic 37-match unbeaten streak has come to an end:

And last but now least... well actually, this is definitely least: BVB played Paderborn in a boring friendly and lost 3-0, giving up all three goals in the final 15 minutes. If for whatever reason you want to waste two hours of your life by watching the replay of the game, voila:

The Daily Buzz

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