The Injury Bee:™ Raphael Guerreiro Out Until November, Proving We Can’t Have Nice Things

Hello, wonderful readers. It is Monday morning (well actually Sunday night, but not by the time you’re reading this) and I am not having a good time.

Why, you ask? Because instead of rambling about transfer rumors or posting videos of BVB players playing Mario Kart, I have to spend another Daily Bee writing about injuries. It’s so tiring having half the squad perpetually missing. What’s worst about it is that there don’t seem to be any definitive timelines for everyone. The worst types of injuries are the ones that seem to linger forever without ever healing, and it seems that many BVB players are currently experiencing this.

This weekend, Nico Schulz was easily the weakest link in what was otherwise a pretty strong BVB performance, at least from the outfield players. Unfortunately, according to Ruhr Nachrichten, Schulz won’t be leaving the squad any time soon, because Raphael Guerreiro has been ruled out of the squad for the rest of October. This means that he will miss Dortmund’s crucial match against Ajax tomorrow. Youssoufa Moukoko will also miss the rest of the month. Meanwhile, neither Mahmoud Dahoud nor Gio Reyna have returned to training.

Dortmund should still be able to field a strong enough squad to win their next few matches, but it’s still annoying that the squad can’t even come close to its full potential.

In the famous words of John Oliver: and now, this.

A Palette Cleanser

If you’re wondering what kind of hijinks Dortmund’s players were getting up to while we were snoozing our way through the international break, this was it. In what is apparently the Round of 16 of a multi-stage tournament, Gio Reyna and Manuel Akanji finished first and second place in this skee-ball/horse race tournament to advance to the next round.

If I were the type of curmudgeonly baby boomer who calls into sports talk radio shows, I’d complain about how the players should be focusing on training and that nonsense like this is why BVB will never win the Bundesliga, and how back in the day Jürgen Kohler would never let himself get distracted. However, those people suck, and this does look like a pretty fun game. Continue the Legenden-derby, and let the best man win!

The Daily Buzz

What’s the worst injury you ever suffered as a player? I never had any crazy ones, although I did get a concussion in band class once (long story).