The Daily Bee (August 24, 2020): Bayern Munich Fall Just Shy of the Quadruple

Good morning, Fear the Wall.

You know what’s old-fashioned? Winning the treble. Winning the Quadruple is what’s all the rage these days. Over the weekend, with a 1-0 victory against Paris Saint-Germain in the Champions League Final in Lisbon, Bayern Munich secured the former, but fell ever so slightly short of the latter. As we all know, Borussia Dortmund’s glorious victory against Bayern Munich last August in the Bundesliga Supercup has prevented Bayern from winning the Quadruple. So while they may be celebrating in Lisbon tonight, we BVB fans all know that in reality, they’ll be losing sleep tonight about what could have been.

I mean, just look at their faces:

Does this really seem like happiness to you, or does it seem like concealed anguish? Do you see this face?

That is not the face of a man who has won something. That is a man who has just made a realization:

“Wait a minute. Winning this competition is meaningless! We lost the Supercup last August, which means we didn’t win the Quadruple! All has been for nothing! BVB REIGN SUPREME!”

That’s enough about Bayern. Let’s talk about PSG. The Frenchmen were handicapped from the start, with Thomas Tuchel sidelined by an ankle injury. Much like Napoleon, handicapped by Hemorrhoids on the day of the Battle of Waterloo, Tuchel couldn’t pace along the touchline, barking orders to his players.

Furthermore, PSG were without their star player, their driving engine, their head honcho, Thomas Meunier, without whom they probably would’ve never made it out of the group stage and probably would’ve been relegated from Ligue 1 years ago. Speaking of PSG, I did feel a bit bad watching Neymar and a few others cry after losing the Champions League final to Bayern. At first I felt bad because they never had a chance to celebrate winning the Champions League, but then I remembered that, like the excellent sports they are, they got all of their celebrating out of the way during the Round of 16.

All-in-all, I’d say Borussia Dortmund were the real winners this weekend. September 30th, boys. That’s the day we defend our title.

September. 30th.

Oh, and congrats to Sevilla on winning the Europa League.

The Daily Buzz

How did you spend your Sunday afternoon? I spent my day rewatching the Supercup repeatedly for twelve hours.