Election Night 2020: Thomas Delaney or Mahmoud Dahoud?

We are on the verge of one of the most significant elections in our lifetime. The entire future of the human race will hinge on the outcome of this vote, and it is up to you, the electorate of Fear the Wall, to seize upon your civic duty and exercise your right to participate in democracy. Decision 2020, as we’re calling it, is the single most important vote that we’ve ever held at FTW. I’m talking, of course, about the age-old argument that has been taking place virtually since time began:

Who is better: Thomas Delaney or Mahmoud Dahoud?

As the two most popular midfielders with Borussia Dortmund, Dahoud and Delaney have their fans and detractors alike, and are very divisive among the BVB fanbase. This has been a hotly debated topic for some time at FTW, so I’d like to finally put this question up to a vote.

Now the one thing I hate more than someone who doesn’t vote is someone who does vote, but is uninformed. With that in mind, I have decided to create a brief summary of the strengths and weaknesses of our two candidates.

Thomas Delaney

Photo by Leon Kuegeler - Pool/Getty Images

Strengths

• Single-handedly props up the yellow card industry
• Looks like a pirate
• Can be equally mediocre as a center back
• Scored that goal against Schalke that one time

Weaknesses

• Increase in total healthcare spending due to prolific breaking of ankles
• Forward passes
• Passes of any kind, really
• Is very redundant

Mahmoud Dahoud

Photo by Max Maiwald/DeFodi Images via Getty Images

Strengths

• Was a quality midfielder (for Borussia Mönchengladbach)
• We only blew €15 million on him
• Taking lots of long shots
• Can, indeed, occasionally pass the ball forward

Weaknesses

• Creepy mustache
• Not enough yellow cards
• Actually scoring on long shots
• Excessive head injuries from stray shots into the yellow wall

The Vote

It’s all come to this. Barring some kind of Russian interference, this poll should give us the definitive answer of who is better: Thomas Delaney or Mahmoud Dahoud?

My hope is that once the result of this poll is decided, we can all come together as a fanbase and accept the result of the election, because regardless of who wins, we play Bayern Munich on Saturday and I really want us to beat them.