Match Ratings: Lazio 3-1 Borussia Dortmund

The CHUMPions League, more like. Hahahaha. It’s fun to make jokes. Dortmund lost to a gang of fascists and they’re going to spend the rest of the week offering cash for tall locals to play in the defense. Here’s some ratings to fill your boots.

Starters

Marwin Hitz

Paul: 3

There have been plenty of fans clamoring for Hitz to take the starting position in goal. I don’t think he has done anything to warrant being chosen over Burki in these last few games. His best performances were just okay. His worst? That was yesterday. It was bad.

Steve: 4

Does Burki have meningitis or something? This cold is really lingering. Weidenfeller still works for the club right?

Sean: 3

So apparently he’s our starting goalkeeper now? What? He let the second goal go through his outstretched arms and off his own face. Immobile made him look foolish with a cool chip on the first goal as well. I know a lot of BVB fans have issues with Burki but let’s be real, he’s much better than Hitz.

Lukasz Piszczek

Paul: 5

Steve: 5

Sean: 6

Lazio specifically targeted the right side of BVB’s defense, so Piszczek did about as good as he could have been expected to given the circumstances. He wasn’t responsible for any of the three goals.

Mats Hummels

Paul: 5

Steve: 6

I know this is an oddly high score for a defender when we gave up three goals. But I want to recognize the remarkable load Hummels was carrying tonight, marshalling this makeshift backline and handling almost all of the passing duties out of the back.

Sean: 5

While Hummels was beaten on a 1-on-1 by Immobile for the third goal, he was otherwise enormous yesterday, with eight clearances, three interceptions, and three blocked shots.

Thomas Delaney

Paul: 4

I feel like I’m doing Delaney a little dirty here. He’s a relatively one-dimensional DM that was being asked to play in a makeshift back three with his grandparents. What else did we expect? It wasn’t a great performance though.

Steve: 4

Thank you for your valiant efforts Mr. Delaney. Hopefully we don’t have to ask you to do this again.

Sean: 6

Show the Danish Don some love, you guys! He’s a CDM shoehorned into the BVB back line who somehow managed to look like he belonged there. Hummels was a beast tonight and had the better defensive numbers overall but I don’t care. Never change, Thomas.

Thomas Meunier

Paul: 3

After improving in recent games, Meunier put in a really bad performance yesterday. I am quick to defend Meunier because I think some of the responses to his efforts so far this season have been massive overreactions, but he’s really got to do better than yesterday if he has any hope of keeping his spot in the starting lineup.

Steve: 3

Meunier has gotten Dortmund a starring role on this Tuesday Champions League edition of WPIOOTBGW. Check it out on twitter.

Sean: 2

As much as I try not to be reactionary and put the blame on any one player, I’m struggling to find a reason why Meunier shouldn’t be panned for his performance yesterday. His turnover that led to the first Lazio goal was completely careless, and Lazio repeatedly targeted him on the right side of the pitch. He was a total vacuum going forward, other than a cross that Haaland managed to head on target, and to cap it all off he missed an absolute sitter in the first half when Dortmund desperately needed a goal.

Rapha Guerreiro

Paul: 5

Steve: 5

Was it the plan for us to progress the ball primarily up the right side, and have Guerreiro roam all over the field? He was practically a center midfielder in possession. He was clever on the ball, had good interchanges with the forwards and got himself a few good shots but couldn’t convert. I wish we had played on the left side more. As usual, his defense wasn’t his strongest contribution on the night.

Sean: 6

I actually think he was one BVB’s best players. He had one of BVB’s best chances in the first half when he split Lazio’s defense with a run into the box, but the goalkeeper saved his shot. He had a few other chances but couldn’t convert any of them.

Axel Witsel

Paul: 6

Steve: 6

Like Hummels, Witsel was given a massive assignment tonight and largely did what was asked of him.

Sean: 6

Jude Bellingham

Paul: 5

Possibly a little overawed by the occasion. I thought Dahoud might have earned the start yesterday, after a good performance at the weekend, and that extra experience might have helped. But Bellingham didn’t have a poor game. He just failed to make his mark.

Steve: 5

I was surprised when he got the hook at half-time. Did Favre fault Bellingham for that bad pass from Meunier?

Sean: 5

People were haranguing him on Twitter, and for the life of me I couldn’t really understand why. Every time he received the ball he was under instant pressure from Lazio’s midfield, and he still. It’s not like he was great, but come on, he was fine.

Jadon Sancho

Paul: 6

Steve: 6

Sean: 5

Had a few moments of brilliance but could never string them together to create a goal. I’m not concerned about his play yesterday.

Marco Reus

Paul: 5

Steve: 5

Sean: 5

Erling Haaland

Paul: 7

Steve: 8

Took a brilliant goal. Could have had another one. Hey Adam Darowski, how does hockey scoring work? Does Haaland get a 2nd assist on his own goal?

Sean: 7

Subs

Gio Reyna

Paul: 6

Steve: 7

Our attack was much more threatening with Reyna pulling the strings. His assist was a perfectly threaded cross from the right side.

Sean: 7

He looked very dangerous once he came on, but it was unfortunately too little too late. His connection with Erling Haaland is unreal, and I can’t wait to see how many assists he’s gonna bag this season.

Julian Brandt

Paul: 5

Steve: 5

Good on the ball, but playing in a very deep role he didn’t have a huge impact.

Sean: 7

I’m gonna part with my two comrades here. I thought Brandt added a bit of finesse and dynamism to BVB’s attack. He won quite a few balls high up the pitch and had several incisive passes. His tendency to have a heavy touch or misplaced pass here or there can be frustrating, but a certain level of risk is necessary when your team is chasing a two-goal deficit.

Reinier

Paul: N/A

Sean: N/A

Overall

Paul: 4

Sean: 4

It’s tempting to see a match like that and just think that the sky is falling, but I think a four is about right. It wasn’t horrible, but it was decently below-average. BVB looked very dangerous at various points in the second half, but a few defensive meltdowns and clinical finishing from Lazio were enough to carry the day for them.

Steve: 4

This was always going to be one of the two or three toughest games on the schedule. I’m confident that we can win the return match. I’m also looking forward to the prospect of Passlack getting a start against Schalke. That will be really special if it happens.

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What do you guys think? Who was your man of the match? How would you rate the individual performances?